To Play Us Out

The people above look ridiculous.  They are celebrating the New Year by dressing up in holiday garb and going for a zealous run.  Well, isn’t that just fucking joyous?  But let’s get real.  For most of us, it’s just another day that we get off school or work.  For any of you that have huge expectations, goals, or resolutions for 2009, you should probably give up now and save yourself the anguish.  Enthusiasm as a whole annoys me, especially when it is tied to nothing more than the changing of a calendar.  Being apathetic will make you a much happier in the long run.  Trust me — I’ve been doing it my whole life.

With that bit of advice out of the way, let’s get to what we’re here for:

• It never works out when people try to look cool taking pictures with their cars.

• They definitely know how to advertise in Illinois.

• I think I’m changing my major soon, and since I have no goals in life, I’ll be sure to check out some of these…

• Paul Rudd wasn’t always such an awesome guy.

• How wrong I was to think Celine Dion served no purpose in this world.

• I hate cats, because they always come off as sly, sneaky bastards.

• I hope none of these happen to me for a long, long time.