To Play Us Out

I am very much against plagiarism.  In fact, if I ever hear about anyone stealing anything from this blog, I will probably hunt them down and kill them.  Also, I’ve never really liked Coldplay, and I thought “Viva la Vida” was the most overrated tune to ever win Song of the Year.  Why am I espousing all these seemingly unrelated non-sequiturs?  Because there is a massive conspiracy afoot, concerning the aforementioned Coldplay, Cat Stevens, and two other people I’ve never heard of.  Just watch this:

I found this video to be eye-opening.  We all know about the tradition of “sampling” in the music business.  For example, the entire beat of MC Hammer’s “U Can’t Touch This” is taken from Rick James, and the same goes for Will Smith’s “Wild Wild West,” taken from Stevie Wonder.  Even that unmistakable opening guitar riff in “Paper Planes” is lifted from The Clash’s “Straight to Hell”.

Sampling is one thing.  But completely stealing something without giving credit is another.  Here’s my central point: Cat Stevens obviously came up with this first.  And I love Cat Stevens.  So I’ll be damned if I sit here and allow this Joe Satriani character, this Latino band, and the insidious Coldplay steal his music.  I was going to call for a boycott of all Coldplay albums, but no one really buys music anyway.  So nothing can really be done.  Maybe I’ll write a letter to the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences demanding they strip Coldplay of their Grammy.  But that probably won’t happen.  In fact, nothing will probably happen.  I tend to get worked up very quickly over things, and then give up and develop a defeatist attitude.  Just five minutes after I started writing this, I’ve already lost interest.  But at least now you know the truth.