To Play Us Out

Dear Mr. Jobinson,

After a much needed break from this godforsaken website I have finally returned. To tell you the truth it was quite surprising that you enlisted the help of me and the rest of the bastards that live with us to write for To Play Us Out after going solo for many moons. Maybe you’re not the ‘meanie‘ that your gruff exterior suggests. I’ve begun to suspect that you might even be a ‘nice-y’; either that or you’ve begun to mellow in your old age. Whatever the case I respectfully decline your invitation to write for To Play Us Out. The reason for my decision is that I never left in the first place. Wild card bitches!

Sincerely,

p90forlife

Ok. Now that that’s over I present to you my first post: “The Blood is on the Table“. It’s still a response to Atlas,  I just couldn’t bare writing in letter format anymore. I fucking hate letter format.

If you couldn’t tell from the title alone, this post will discuss my infatuation with Indian women, among other things. Now I know most people think that I harbor some sort of sick fetish for Indians and while this is somewhat true, I do not classify it as such. I merely have a preference for them. Some guys like blondes, some like brunettes, some like redheads. If you asked one of these guys a question such as, “What do you prefer in your women?”, they might possibly respond with “I like a blonde with a nice rack.” It’s not like they can only get off to or would only fornicate with a woman that falls into this category, they just prefer to. When someone has a genuine fetish nothing else can please them. A man with a scat fetish will under no circumstances tolerate consensual sex in the missionary position unless poop is involved. Is this starting to make sense?

With that said INDIANS GIRLS ARE SO FUCKING HOT, Indian girls are by far the most beautiful ethnic group when put together correctly. The only women that hold a candle to them are Latinas (#2 on my list of ‘Ethnic Group with the Hottest Chicks Ranking) and Italian girls (#3). The rest pale in comparison… no pun intended.

However, take note that I included the phrase ‘when put together correctly’ in my description of Indians. An ugly Indian girl is perhaps the most andrognyous and disgusting mutant on the face of the earth, but when an Indian girl is hot, she is scorching. There is something about tan skin, beautiful brown hair, and dazzling eyes that is just untouchable. Why do you think Aishwarya Rai won Miss World?

My only complaint about the physical appearance of Indian girls is that they are HAIRY AS FUCK. I dated an Indian girl for some time, and you wouldn’t believe the effort that she put into maintaining her body hair. Let me preface this by saying that I am a very hairy person. Alfred Hitchcock could make an Academy Award winning movie about my taint (think Psycho but instead of death by knife, death by pubic asphyxiation). Anyway, body hair removal is a trip for me, but for her it was a fucking expedition.

I know most of you don’t share the same views about women as me, but I don’t give a fuck.  If you think Indian women are too hairy then that’s fine with me. It’s just that if I adopted the same view then I would be a hyprocrite.

This concludes my first post back at To Play Us Out. I hope you enjoyed it. Oh, and “The Blood is on the Table” is a completely meaningless phrase that ‘Jeff George’ has been bellowing/singing throughout our house lately. The kid has a voice fit for the big time. If Rick Astley and Michael Bolton had gay 80’s mansex ‘Jeff George’ would be their manchild. If our house quits talking and finally makes a band then he shall be our lead singer, Atlas will be on the drums, 3/5’s on the bass, Trashpockets on the trumpet, and me on the alto sax. Oh, and Fucktard? He can be the guy being pulled away from his keyboard at 1:38.

p90forlife, over and out.