To Play Us Out

Oh, Link Dump.  It’s been so long.  How I have missed you.  But it’s like they say: it’s better to have link dumped and lost than never to have link dumped at all.  Or something like that.

• This is the coolest thing I have ever seen: classic NFL moments re-lived in Tecmo Bowl.  I love the first one, obviously, except for that faggot announcer Gus Johnson calling my beloved Bengals the “Cardiac Cats.”  That is the gayest fucking nickname I have ever heard.
• Guess who’s coming out with a rap album?  J.J. Fucking Redick.  Listen, douchebag: just because you’re in the NBA does not mean you’re an honorary black person.
• This guy wants his daughter to be a porno actress. Father of the year candidate?  Seriously, though, I know a lot of girls who are going nowhere in life.  If I was their dads, I would probably encourage this career move as well.
• I play Madden a lot.  Like on-the-verge-of-obsession a lot.  I used to be amazing, and I was the undisputed champion of the house.  P90ForLife went as far as to research play-calling tips on the Internet just so he could beat me.  It must have worked, because now I hardly ever win.  I am constantly screaming after every interception or missed tackle, and I end up looking a lot like one of these guys.
• I take all my cues on how to woo women based on things I learn from romantic comedies.  Apparently that’s a mistake.
• When I inevitably quit whatever job I somehow manage to procure in the future, this will be the resignation letter I can only hope to emulate.
• Here’s a collection of some Halloween nerds.  Spoiler: every other picture is actually the not unattractive Olivia Munn in a costume.  In one of the pics, she’s dressed as Princess Leia in the famous bikini.  I have said it many times: when I’m like 5-10 years into my marriage, and the sex life needs to be spiced up, I am making my wife dress up as Princess Leia.  I maintain that her in that bikini is the hottest thing ever to be put on film.

P.S. I found another nerd picture.  You all know him as Jeff George:

• To Play Us Out-approved music of the week: DJ Steve Porter’s “Press Hop.”  Without question, the greatest sports mash-up of all time.  I downloaded this and I play it at parties.  That is not a joke.

A final note on what everyone here is being for Halloween:

• Trashpockets and I are the Blues Brothers.  And we are on a mission from God.
• Fucktard is a gynecologist.
• Jeff George was going to be Peter Pan (the kid is addicted to that theme song), but now he’s being a mummy.  Horrible decision, sir.
• Mr. 3/5’s costume is the most clever, but I don’t think he wants me to reveal it just yet.  I’ll have to get clearance.
• P90ForLife claims he’s going to be either Lt. Dangle from Reno 911 or a Hasidic Jew, but as of yet he has done absolutely zero preparation.  My prediction is that he does not assemble a costume, and hence does not go out this weekend.